


Maybe.

by from within (aconite_fic)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Grieving, M/M, Merlin Rare Pairs, Past Character Death, Summer Pornathon 2015, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4837034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aconite_fic/pseuds/from%20within
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it is none of their fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2015 Summer Pornathon, challenge 2 (Magic of three). The underage warning refers only to the first scene - Gwaine and everyone else if of age from then on.

The first time Gwaine gets drunk, it’s on his father’s whisky.

What’s left of it, at least.

He downs the bottle and then looks down the throat. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to find there. He only sees a couple of drops left at the bottom, and the only thing he can think about is how they are the perfect depiction of how he feels.

His mother cries when she finds him.

x

The second time he gets drunk, he’s the one crying. That's all he remembers in the morning.

Elena stirrs next to him and wakes up soon after he has. He doesn't know how she ended up there, doesn't know what to expect, and isn't quite sure how to react when she lays her head on his shoulder and puts an arm over his chest. He feels nauseous and sticky and gross, but he doesn’t move away.

"What did I tell you?" Gwaine asks after a while.

Elena takes a deep breath, then releases. "It wasn’t your fault," she says.

Gwaine closes his eyes. He remembers the day - the fight and the police and the call home and the telling little slur in his father’s voice when he said he was  _Coming over there_ and - and the bile in his throat threatens to make a mess of them both.

“It _is_  my fault,” he manages to whisper.

Elena only holds him closer.

x

What he expects to be the third time turns into something entirely different.

He’s ready to protest when Elena grabs the drink from under his nose, but then he turns around and sees the man standing next to her.

“My new friend wants to dance with you,” she says with a smile. She winks and goes away, leaving Gwaine to stare at the stranger.

“I didn’t say anything about dancing,” the man says. His little smile is almost far too adorable for someone his size. “I’m Percy.”

“Gwaine,” he replies and shakes Percy’s hand. He pats the stool next to his and Percy sits.

“Can I get you another drink?” Percy asks.

Gwaine thinks about it for a second, but then refuses. He feels he’d rather not forget this time around.

x

“Percival.”

The whisper gets Gwaine a groan in response. He laughs.

“Don’t,” Percy says, then lets out a little moan when Gwaine pushes his fingers deeper inside of him.

“Sorry,” Gwaine says and presses a small kiss to Percy’s inner thigh. He moves up to his cock and abdomen and kisses him all over, moans at the way it makes Percy clench around his fingers and ask for more. He wonders if someone’s ever taken the time to be like this with Percival before, listen for his little cues and follow them until he trembles.

“I really love your name, you know,” he says after a while.

“It’s not the sexiest name in the universe,” Percy mumbles.

“I happen to find it very sexy,” Gwaine says. He lets Percy wraps his legs around his waist as he sinks into him. “A gorgeous name for a gorgeous man.”

“Gwaine,” Percy whines and hides his face under his forearm.

The ache Gwaine feels at the sight is far too familiar. But it’s different, getting to witness the struggle that is loving any little bit of yourself from the other end.

He leans down to press a kiss to Percy’s chest and Percy immediately pulls him closer.

“Please, Gwaine, I...”

Gwaine thrusts into him lets himself get drunk on Percy’s moans, on the way Percy clings to him harder after every praise that slips off Gwaine’s lips.

When Percy dozes off later, still holding Gwaine in his arms, Gwaine dares hope.

Maybe it  _is_  none of their fault. Maybe one day they could love each other without needing the other to hold them together.


End file.
